Oh shit - what have I just done...

So Rick was this dude in high school that I dated and was briefly engaged to. (I know how stupid was that?) Anyway, I wised up and broke up with him. Flash forward to 10 years later at our first reunion. He's with his wife and ignores me the entire time - despite the time I tried to speak to him.

Here's the jacked up part - the day after the reunion he phones me (I still wonder how he got my phone number) and asks me to meet him for coffee so he can explain his behavior. Well I went and he proceeded to tell me that he did not want his wife to know who I was cause he has never gotten over me. (whatever) THEN - he tells me their is a wonderful little inn near his house just outside Denver. You see where this is going, right? He wants to fly me out there whenever I can get away so we can see where it takes us. I'm like - OH MY GOD your such a lowlife asshole. I stormed out of the Wendy's (classy right?) and he continued to keep calling me until my then boyfriend threatened to kick his ass.

Why am I boring you all with this? Well - I just say him on Facebook and I have NO IDEA why I did this but I sent him a friend request. I can't figure out how to cancel it. What the hell was I thinking? This guy disrespected me and his wife 20 years ago. Is my morbid curiosity so strong that I put all logic and pride aside.

Geez us...what the hell is wrong with me?

It became official today - my office is closing and merging into another location.

I have worked at UPS for 26 years. Today we were told (after a month of rumors) that we our office here in San Antonio is merging with the office in Houston. So - unless we want to take try for part-time jobs in one of our package centers well that, as they say, is that.

I don't know anything but UPS - I started with them in college. I certainly don't know how to make a career change at 47 years old. I'm scared and really REALLY angry. A wise person (waves to Monday) told me the anger is okay - might even help me to get to that next level. So...

I have to decide what I want to do now and hope that option is available to me. Do you think Jake would let me audition for the role of Vasquez in "Stuffer"? Or maybe Elizabeth in the sequel to "Goodnight Elizabeth"?

I hope you all don't mind me sharing - I just need to vent a little -

Just copying what my buddies have started...

http://www.formspring.me/BarbaraGail

I am woefully behind on all things fandom and most especially Live Journaly (huh?)! Some of you may know that my sweet little momma has been in the hospital twice in the last week. She is there still!

I am pleased to say she is doing better and we're hoping to get her home tomorrow!

I really just felt the need to let all my favorite authors who have been posting so many stories lately that I can't wait to catch up. I don't want any of you to think (if you would go there) that I have stopped caring to read! SO NOT TRUE! I can't wait to still away and indulge in what has really become my favorite past-time!

Much peace and love to you all...Barbara

Like you all I have run through every emotion today. I keep remembering sitting in my grandparents living room watching ATWT with my grandmother. I have seen so many comments about watching with Grandmas and Moms - and I did the same thing.

When Guiding Light was cancelled, my mom and I, well we grieved it. And we'll do the same with this show. But for me their is one difference....YOU ALL!

I have never been in a fandom before. Although I would have been in one for Duran Duran - if we all had the internet back then. When I "surfed" into VH.net and the wiki - who could have know what laid in wait for me. I have made friends in this little world of ours that I share my real life with. And while the boys and the show are the one thing that brought us together - well, I'd like to think it goes much deeper then that.

I don't have any illusions about what post fandom life will bring. Jill and were talking earlier about the next nine months. We want to try and relax and just relish every minute. We want big time, over the top and wonderfully emotional happy endings for all the characters.

So - here's what I hope. Our wonderful writers keep writing, our video makers keep making awesome videos, our artists keep making wonderful graphics and drawings. Let's enjoy to the hilt the time that is left.

See the thing is, ask Jill and Monday - I'm a hugger. I love hugging and getting hugged. So I plan on getting all the "cyber hugs" I can for as long as we are all still together! I'm not ready to let the show or the boys go...and I'm not ready to let you all go either.

Peace and Love,
Barbara

I grew up loving Donna Summer. And I love her to this day! Here is my little homage to my girl!

Nelson City Dance Hall
November 26, 2009
Deer In The Headlights Theater Troupe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOv7WT6EjbA

From Ailene -

1. You're stuck on an island for the rest of your life and while you have enough food and water resources to survive on, you only have one source of entertainment, a single book. Which one is it? "Always Looking Up" by Michael J Fox. It's wonderful and a tribute to the power of positive thinking. (or "Jake and Van - a Love Story") ;-)
2. What's your favorite thing on the Thanksgiving table? My mothers dressing!
3. What's the best gift, Christmas, birthday, just cause, gift you've ever given to someone else? My parents 50th anniversary trip was pretty freaking awesome.
4. Have you ever had a vacation you'd like to have back? Not that I can remember.
5. What's one talent that other people have, not necessarily every body but some, that you'd love to be good at? Writing


From Rachel -

1. What's something that people who think they know you would be surprised to learn? I am privately (for the most part) very religious. I am a big believer in the power of prayer. But I also totally respect if people don't believe as I do. That's the most important lesson I actually learned from my faith. (does that make sense?)
2. What's the worst song in history? Black Velvet by Alannah Myles
3. What's your current favorite item of clothing? My Woodstock anniversary t-shirt.
4. What's the most valuable thing you learned between kindergarten and 12th grade, in terms of using it on a day-to-day basis? How to keep a secret.
5. What's the hardest question you've ever been asked on a job interview? What did you say? Why did you leave your last job (which I'd been fired from)

From Ronnie:

1. What is your favorite thing about your cat? That she always wants to be with her humans. The three of us are silly close! And I'd have it no other way.
2. What's your favorite song of all time? Running On Empty by Jackson Brown
3. You get to have a chat with Noah or Jake today. Whom do you chose? What do you say? Jake - I'd love to know how he really feels about what has happened to him as a result of the show and his relationship with Van. And if he ever feels overwhelmed that so many people of put so much importance on every thing he says and does.
4. What's your favorite city in the US? Why? Probably Dallas - it's got so much to offer in terms of art, culture and football! ;-) And it is still in Texas.
5. Name one hidden talent that you have that we may not know. I can do accents. (used to be great for free drinks when I was younger)


If anyone wants to play here - let me know!

Thanks girls - some of these questions really made me think! Much love!

Are you all like me - you hear a song on the radio that at one point in your life was very important to you.  And you realize you actually forgot to remember it?  God - I love when that happens.  These songs can take me back to a certain moment of time - that is how they can grab me.

The other day I heard The Voice by The Moody Blues.  I was so happy I drove around the block until it was over.  Thank goodness for ITunes - I have probably listened to it everyday since then.  

So, I was wondering what songs some of you have forgotten to remember?  Since I am addicted to the 70's channel on Sirius that is where most of my aha musical moments have occurred.  I am actually thinking that Down By The Lazy River by The Osmond Brothers is my next karoake masterpiece!


Peace and Love


P.S.  I'll let ya'll know how The Osmond Brothers song goes over!  ;-)

Wow - I did not think so many people would see what I wrote.  But the fact you all did read it and took the time to comment - well you have no idea how much that means to me. 

Words of encouragement give a lift to a heavy heart.
William Thackeray


Peace and Love - Barbara

...I am not sure I know what it is anymore.  What do I have to offer everyone when all I see around me is so much talent and quick wit?  I promise I am not having a pity party and I have no plans to stop visiting any and all places that talk about the boys.   After 2 years they mean as much to me now as they did then.  Maybe more because of the adventures and friends I have made because of them.  I am serious though - every since April I have become more and more perplexed as to what I really bring to the mix in our little world.